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October 12th, 2009
10:03 am
So, hey, Dave is married. Whats up with that.
I am still kinda shitting myself about the speech. Any and all credit must go to the formula that I stoledistilled from the speech the best man - one Mr Luke Edmunds - gave at my brother's wedding.
For any of you who have to write a best man speech in the future, here it is:
1. Introduction. Who are you, anyway?
2. So, hey, congrats! And, seriously, how good does the bride look?*
3. How you met the groom.
4. Story about the groom evolving as a person.
5. Amusing illustrative anecdote
6. How the groom met the bride.
7. Story about their [early, if possible] relationship.
8. Amusing illustrative anecdote
9. List of things the groom loves, concluding with the bride's name.
10. Toasts: Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, Groom (and bride)**
* I'm terrible with compliments - giving or receiving - so left this out.
** Apparently it is also traditional to toast the parents here or at the end, but I left that out by accident (and because I am a bad man).
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October 6th, 2009
02:19 pm
Because you are my friends, you will probably enjoy this.
Especially if you like any of the following:
- Clerks
- Mallrats
- Comics
- Comic book stores
- Callum
- Empire Toys
- Big Bang Theory
- The Guild
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August 11th, 2009
10:04 am - In case you were wondering...
I'm not going to be on Beauty and the Geek.
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May 12th, 2009
04:35 pm
So I'm in South Australia, which is awesome because I got here the day Cam got back to Perth. So there was no weirdawesome reunion like that time Turk got back and him and JD ran around the hospital and ended up on Roof A and Roof B.
I am typing this information from a laptop using a 3G wireless internets card, even though there is probably a WAP around somewhere near the hotel. And by hotel, I mean a pub with rooms above it. Mine didn't have a desk, so I stole one from Justin's room. My room had two beds and smells funny, his had a desk and a bed and smells weird, and Jim's room has a desk AND two beds AND no smell, so I think we can all see who is living the high life right now.
In case you care, the place I am staying is located right about here. I have an excellent view of the building next door from my window. Also: I forgot to bring enough socks, so I went to Target earlier and bought some. I probably won't charge them to the company, but everything else, including this internets, is on the house. Awesome. I might play some pokies later. That probably won't be on the house either. Benny won $300 last night. Not 3BK (B.Eng). A different Benny. In case I mention him again, this will be 3FB, for 3 Fucks Benny. This is because he is an old salty ex-Navy bastard who cannot complete a sentence unless it has at least three fucks in it. And you know if I am commenting on levels of swearing, it must be so notable that it almost merits a Wikipedia article.
Every day this week (Tuesday to Thursday) we fly to a Secret Government Facility (located here), where we sit around and try to make software and hardware play nicely. Tomorrow, we are fixing a generator and removing rust/repainting. I have a vague idea how to do the latter, and no idea about the former. Thats not a nice beach there, its a fucking steep cliff. I spent some time today sitting on the deck out the front waiting for a plane; I was staring at the horizon, listening to dolphins and snapping shrimp and (possibly) a whale. I have some great (I hope) photos from the area and from the flight - a little twin engine prop which is made kinda like a car.
Monday and Friday are travelling days, which is to say, days where I get paid to sit on a plane and read, and surf the web at the airport while eating (free) mee goreng and cake. Adelaide airport looks a lot like the city: sparse, mildly artistic, a bit interesting, but with not a whole lot going on.
The seafood here is also pretty good. So is the cider, and also the pepsi max. And the reverse-cycle air con.
On the downside, getting up at 6am sucks, especially when you realise that 6am here is actually 4.30am in Real Time. The blankets are notable for actually being sheets that have adopted a cunning disguise. Apparently, everyone here has a Dave-like Frost Resistance buff. Also, mounting evidence suggests that eating breakfast "out" always sucks, no matter where you eat it. Unless you can get pacon and bancakes. Maybe they have that? I'll ask tomorrow.
Goddamn, I love bancakes and pacon.
Anyway I guess I should find out what these other blokes want to do for dinner. I think I might go for some lemon pepper calamari, if they want to eat here. Or maybe a pizza? Choices are made harder by the free-ness of it all...
Until next time!
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April 23rd, 2009
09:29 am
For Frog, Jacinta, and all the other rock/rock band/guitar hero nerds that don't read the best webcomic ever:
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April 22nd, 2009
April 20th, 2009
09:11 am - Things
On the weekend, while fishing (virtually), I watched some stuff. Mostly UK stuff. Here are some one-line reviews:
- Secret Diaries of a Callgirl is pretty good, but I don't think Ill watch season 2.
- Demons seems okay, in a slightly-more-serious-than-Doctor-Who, Supernaturalish kind of way. I might get episode 2.
- Trueblood seems meh.
- Being Human is actually alright, even though the new vampire dude is beginning to seem more like a young pre-alcoholic Bernard Black.
- Zeitgeist, which is a doco, started off good, but then started claiming that 9/11 was a conspiracy and I got really bored.
- Kings seems good, but not good. But I got episodes 2-6 to watch, just in case.
In other TV news:
- Heroes character development is a bit silly. Its like Spike in Buffy all over again - nonsensical changes to the characters' personality. Only Kring doesn't pull it off like Joss.
- South Park is always great.
- Scrubs is funny again.
- The Office has gotten a bit weird in the past few eps.
- House is almost interesting at the moment.
Also, gay is a synonym for stupid. The rules for the english language apply to you guys too, gay people!
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April 3rd, 2009
10:33 am
Oh shit, I forgot about how bright the goddamned mornings are going to be next summer.
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March 20th, 2009
01:30 pm
I don't believe in god, but I do believe in pancakes and bacon.
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March 19th, 2009
04:14 pm
I have a new phone, but it has the same number and I haven't lost any contacts, because I am SMART. So this is a seamless transition for you, and really you can ignore the rest of this post...
...unless you are interested in knowing that my background picture features Cam sitting on a chair, with Dosser in an elegant red dress and pearls. This contrasts majestically with his chops and mo.
Also, for the record, GuitarDrum Hero is coming along nicely. I finished easy the other night - I bombed a few times on Motorhead, and distracted myself with the first few sets on medium. Then I went back to Motorhead and got it; it was all straight shots from there. I even scored a 100%. I then replayed No Sleep 'til Brooklyn and Rebel Yell on medium and raped my old high scores, although I haven't quite made 100% on them yet. Then I got overconfident and tried Beastie Boys on hard, and got pwnt in no time flat.
As much as I hate System of a Down, BYOB is a lot of fun. That plus Hot For Teacher makes for a fantastic finale.
There are a few tracks I am seriously not looking forward to doing on harder modes...
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March 11th, 2009
09:31 am
Holy shit, SEVEN hundred bucks for doing 30 over? On Roe Highway?
Fucking hell!
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February 28th, 2009
08:03 pm
"I've never been good at mental maths, or anything mental".
- Anneke de Rooij, 2009
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February 26th, 2009
11:46 am
Can I just say that I hate people who don't understand cause and effect?
The White Stripes have a great song about this on their latest album.
This morning on the radio some idiot politician was complaining about that clothes company that is laying off a bunch of people, saying that the Governments stimulus packages hasn't worked. This does not follow. It doesn't mean that the stimulus package has failed, or made things worse. It means the stimulus packages hasn't fixed everything. As of course it can't, because the GFC is a GLOBAL issue. It might have made things better. Maybe, without the packages, more companies would have laid people off, or shut down. We don't know. The only way we could know if they have had no effect would be to explore alternate universes.
The worst part is that some people don't realise when politicians are spouting crap.
If only people would actually deal in facts.
I'm not pro-Labor, really. I am anti-stupid.
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February 20th, 2009
12:00 pm
It is not tailgating to drive close to the car in front of you if that car is doing below the speed limit and there are no overtaking opportunities.
DISCUSS
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11:59 am
This song basically describes my life philosophy. Nice.
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February 13th, 2009
12:40 am
HAPPY SCIENCE DAY FOR YESTERDAY!
God damn you, Charles Darwin. You really are the man*.
* Alfred Wallace was pretty frakkin' cool as well.
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February 9th, 2009
09:27 am
Is it just me, or has Penny-Arcade been kinda sucking lately? The writing is still good, you know, most of the time. But the art is fucking retarded. LITERALLY IT MAKES THE CHARACTERS LOOK RETARDED.
Example 1
Example 2
Example 3
They look like slobbering retards! Am I wrong?
WHY IS GABE RUINING MY LIFE WITH HIS RETARDED FACES?
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February 3rd, 2009
10:16 pm
What the fuck is going on on Heroes?
... I think I like it.
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